To be Flexible

If someone is too tough or stubborn, one can say that they have a cold heart, or even a heart made of stone. But consider this: our teeth may be hard and rigid, but they will each fall out as we get older. On the other hand, the tongue more or less retains its form even after we die.

In general, things can sustain themselves more easily if they are flexible, but tend to be damaged if they are too rigid.

One time, I assembled a group of practitioners who had been on a six month retreat in the meditation hall and asked, “Have any of you made any progress, or wish to share your meditation experience?”

It is difficult to attain awakening, but after this six month experience with meditation, most people said, “My heart has become softer.” I was very glad to hear such comments. After practicing meditation for a while, one will realize there is no need to argue over petty things, no need to be rigid, and no need to compare with others. One’s heart will become softer and one’s mind will become broader, just as the bough of a tree with ripened fruit bends, or how the branches of a willow tree are beautiful due to their soft and gentle swing.

Truly, the greatest progress you can make in your cultivation is the softening of the heart.

If we regulate the breath, relax the body, and train the mind through meditation, we can gradually rein in and pacify our monkey-like minds and horse-like wills. Our days will be happier and our lives will be longer.

Master Hanshan once said: “The strings of a hard crossbow always break first; the blades of a sharp knife chip more easily.”

The same rule can be applied to live our lives. We should honor harmony and congruence in our relationships. As soon as a fist thrusts forward, it loses power. When the fist remains in, one’s power is sustained. We should never be impulsive in our actions or complain about little things that don’t really matter. Impatience and stubbornness lead us far too easily toward grief and suffering.

We all hope that we can have friends who are peaceful and pleasant, but there may be some who say, “These days, if you aren’t fierce and relentless, others will take advantage of you.” But these kinds of setbacks are temporary.

One may win or lose, but in the end, the result depends on you. One cannot rely simply on brute force, instead it is important to focus on the details. Everyone is different, and if we can be flexible and not so rigid, we can accept this.

Originally published in Endless Knot, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

What are people supposed to do when they are troubled by afflictions? Some people are troubled by very specific things, others encounter poverty, and many have poor relations with other people. Some individuals are disturbed the moment they hear even the slightest comment they do not like, or they become angry when they see someone doing something they do not approve of. This sort of Read more
We all have our share of headaches and heartaches. Physically, we all have to face aging, sickness and death. Mentally, we have to deal with problems arising from greed, hatred and ignorance. The Chinese have a saying that aptly describes our predicament: “Heaven and hell sometimes end; the threads of sorrow continue forever.” Our afflictions are as deep as the dark blue sea and are Read more
If we want to understand what the Dharma teaches us about building affinity and living in harmony with others, we must first understand the four great all-embracing virtues. The Buddha teaches that for us to realize our true capacity of connecting with and serving our fellow citizens, we have to first build a good rapport, and the four virtues are tools to that end. The four Read more
Greed is a basic disease of all sentient beings. In our realm, the desire realm (kamadhatu), the force and effects of greed can be felt especially strongly. Greed is based on ignorance and cannot function without it. The fundamental ignorance that enables greed to function is the belief in a self that exists separately and independently from other sentient beings. This belief leads to nothing Read more
It is only through loving-kindness and compassion that we can find room in our hearts to forgive others. It is only through our willingness to let go of resentment that we can find a way to magnanimity.  Read more
"Walk like the wind, stand like a pine, sit like a bell, and rest like a bow."This basic etiquette not only applies to Buddhists; everyone should practice it as well in daily living.When we first meet a person, we can tell the level of his/her education and cultivation by his/her manners. We know how refined a person is by the way he/she speaks and conducts Read more
When there is hope, there is a future. The worst tragedy in life is to live without hope for the future. When there is hope, there is a future. One of the mottoes of the Buddha's Light International Association is "to give others hope." That is the highest act of benevolence. On the other hand, to disappoint and render others hopeless is the cruelest act.People live Read more
At the many places I engaged in practice and study—at places such as Qixia in Nanjing, Jinshan and Jiaoshan in Zhenjiang, and Tianning in Changzhou, where I was brought up experiencing spring breezes, summer rains, autumn frosts, and winter snows—I studied silently and grew up quietly. I was always thinking as to how I could repay Buddhism’s kindness. I could not make a living by depending on Buddhism over Read more
The occurrence of a disease is closely related to one’s mental health, physical health, spiritual health, behavior, habits, living environment, and even the society and culture in which one lives.  Harmonizing all of these elements and engaging in specific practices can help to bring about optimum health and prevent illness.  Gaining awareness about the cause of illness and conducting our lives in a manner that Read more
If someone who holds firmly to the name of Avalokit­esvara were to find themselves in a fire, no matter how big, they need not fear being burned by it because of the Bodhi­sattva’s awe-inspiring spiritual powers. Specifically the passage describes one who “upholds the name.” The Chinese character chi (持), “uphold,” means to hold firmly to or mindfully maintain something. One who upholds the name Read more
In fact, what I have enjoyed the most in my reading, and it could be said that a piece of writing that has had an important influence upon my life is the poem “Thoughts on My Fiftieth Birthday,” written by Venerable Master Taixu during his visit to India when the lay Buddhist Tan Yun-shan, Chairperson of the Institute of Chinese Language and Culture at Visva-Bharati Read more
Control of the body means that we know when to act, and when not to act and that we know how to behave with moderation. Read more