Speaking with Kind Words

By Category: Harmonious LivingTags:

If we want to understand what the Dharma teaches us about building affinity and living in harmony with others, we must first understand the four great all-embracing virtues. The Buddha teaches that for us to realize our true capacity of connecting with and serving our fellow citizens, we have to first build a good rapport, and the four virtues are tools to that end. 

The four virtues are giving, speaking with kind words, conducting oneself for the benefit of others, and adapting oneself to others.

Speaking with Kind Words

To practice the second virtue regarding amiable speech, we should compliment rather than reprehend others, encourage them rather than criticize, and use loving words rather than scathing remarks.

Many arguments and fights have been started by an unkind utterance that could have easily remained unspoken or been replaced with gentle words instead. What was once a peaceful community can degenerate very quickly into a feuding community if lies, slander and gossip spread throughout its inhabitants.

If we are not paying attention, our careless words can destroy relationships. If we are mindful in our speech, being cautious always to speak with affection, our relationships will be grounded in trust and compassion.

Loving-kindness and compassion are something that people in this life of suffering depend on. Loving-kindness and compassion provide a ray of hope in life. Society is ruthless, tyrannical, and disorderly, and today, more than ever before, people must insist on habits of being amiable and equitable with one another. People must learn to put themselves in the shoes of others and even to consider all sentient beings as one would himself or herself. This will give rise to loving-kindness and compassion.

In the words of Buddhism, “Loving-kindness and compassion have no match.” Loving-kindness and compassion can overcome all negativity. One thought of loving-kindness and compassion can eliminate greed, anger, arrogance, and fear. In this modern age of scientific development, it has been found that human communication is far more important than all the discoveries of science and technology.

How can there be perfect communication among people? It can only happen through the practice of loving-kindness, compassion, and the four means of embracing virtues: giving charity, affectionate speech, conduct beneficially to others, and cooperation with others and adaptation of oneself to others to lead them to the truth.

Only when people consider all sentient beings with the eyes, words, expression, voice, and mind of loving-kindness and compassion and create affinities with all sentient beings can society achieve harmony and peace.

From Living Affinity, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

Purify the Mind
In Buddhism, the root cause of human suffering and other problems are identified as the mind. It thus proposes to tap into this invaluable resource by transforming any unwholesomeness into wholesomeness. Buddhism instructs sentient beings on how to recognize the mind, calm the mind, and handle the mind. The Buddha taught for forty-nine years during his lifetime. Whether his teachings were about the four noble Read more
What is Meditation?
One of the great advantages of sitting meditation is that you can take it with you wherever you go. Whether you are in a forest deep in the mountains or beside a stream among the grass and reeds, you can develop meditative concentration just by sitting down and crossing your legs.But what is meditation? Does it come from sitting, standing, or lying down? Huineng, the Read more
Am I Really Like a Monk?
Given that I have become a monk, I have placed demands upon myself. My sense of leaving the secular and focusing on the path must surpass others; my sense of self restraint and doing for others must be strengthened. I must learn to endure disadvantage, and I must let others gain some advantage at my expense; I must learn how to be patient and how Read more
Music and Buddhism
Music gives us the capacity to express deep emotions. Whether through holy hymns or chants of praise, music is capable of uplifting the mind to an almost sublime state. As such, it has a significant role in the promotion of religion.All Buddhas and bodhisattvas are very skilled in utilizing music to teach the Dharma and guide sentient beings to enlightenment.Music has a very important function Read more
The Way to Help Others
Compassion is the father, the bodhi mind the mother. Good methods are like friends because they save all sentient beings. — Great Collection of True Dharmas Sutra Compassion Is the Father Compassion removes suffering and creates joy. The sutra says, “The power of the Dharma is beyond expression. Nothing can obstruct compassion.” Compassion is the root source of all good. Compassion is the heart of Read more
Putting Teachings into Practice
Dharma is for people. There is one thing about the Dharma that I am completely sure of: the Dharma is for people. The Buddha’s teachings are not a cold philosophy designed merely to rearrange the concepts in our minds, they are a living act of compassion intended to show us how to open our hearts. I learned this truth just as everyone must learn it—by Read more
Take Delight in Shared Joy
Sharing joy with others is not only a virtue, it is also a delightful experience.To take delight in shared joy is to give willing support to those who are compassionate in helping the needy; it is to give genuine praise to those who have dedicated themselves to the highest achievements in life. If we want to be successful in this world, we must cultivate the Read more
Master's Advice on Daily Practice
As we live, we must strive for a life of value. Buddhism is different from philosophy, for it does not only deal with knowledge and theory. Rather, Buddhism calls for devout faith, developed morality, and most importantly: spiritual practice.All we need is the right intention to begin any form of spiritual practice, whether it is bowing to the Buddha, chanting sutras, repentance, meditation, or other Read more
Patience and Persistence
Being patient is an art, and being persistent is a kind of hope. Influenced by today’s instant culture, modern people tend to expect instant results in anything they do. Practitioners want to have attainment in this life, scholars want to become instant laureates in their fields, and entrepreneurs want to gain a huge fortune overnight. As the saying goes, “A flower picked before its time Read more
Transcend the Ordinary and the Sacred
What, exactly, is the meaning contained within this gong’an? For instance, some have asked, what are people like? This is a very difficult question to answer because if there are things they are like, then there are things they are not like. If we answer that people are like ghosts, then there are also people among ghosts. If we say ghosts are like people, then Read more
The Way to Practice
If your mind is in balance, what need is there to work at morality? If your behavior is correct, what use is meditation to you? If you understand mercy, then you will naturally care for your parents. If you understand faithful conduct, then all of society will be in order.—Platform Sutra of the Sixth PatriarchA Balanced MindMental balance results from understanding that self-respect is a Read more
I Am Not a Monk “Sponging Off” Buddhism (III)
It is my hope that our Buddhist monks will all become monks who give support in all directions and not become monks who live off all directions. Whoever it may be, the monastic followers or the lay disciples, although we have not yet attained enlightenment, we can still broadly make affinities with others first, so as to become aspiring bodhisattvas who will ensure that “Buddhism Read more