Grounding Relationships in Oneness

The ultimate solution for generating peace and accord in our relationships and in our world lies in seeing that we all are one.

Harmony and beauty within our lives and within our communities often fail due to our insistence on the duality of self and others. When we maintain the duality of self and others, we develop disproportionate levels of love and hatred, attraction and repulsion for other people, which throws our relationships out of balance; the capacity for affinity becomes dormant. We judge everyone around us, putting people into categories such as good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, worthy and unworthy. 

If we replace this spirit of separateness with compassion, much of the friction in human relations will disappear. There will be no inclination to like or dislike people; everyone will be regarded with the eyes of compassion.

When we can practice viewing ourselves and others through a lens of oneness, we will no longer engage in meaningless mind games that prevent us from forming positive connections with all beings.

Each of us, like a fine strand in a web, is a part of the overall picture. Take a look at the five fingers of the hand. They are all different in length. Each finger by itself cannot exert much force. However, if we combine the force of the five fingers, say into a fist, we can really pack a punch.

Instead of rejecting those who are different from us, we should learn to embrace them. Celebrating the differences in people while viewing everyone through the eyes of oneness nurtures powerful connections and creates a plane of existence where everyone is mutually supportive and respectful.

The peace and harmony that ensues from mutual respect and acceptance make the initial efforts all worthwhile. Instead of accentuating our differences, we should highlight our similarities. All beings share an inherent connection. We should treasure the similar conditions that bring us together as neighbors, friends and fellow inhabitants of this precious world.

Bodhisattvas embody this spirit of fundamental similarity and oneness. They love all sentient beings as if they were their own sons and daughters; they see all beings as not separate from themselves. When we suffer, they feel our pain; when we celebrate, they feel our joy. When they help us, they are also helping themselves. This is what is meant when we say, “Cultivate loving-kindness without conditions and ground compassion in oneness.”

From Living Affinity, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

Control of the body means that we know when to act, and when not to act and that we know how to behave with moderation. Read more
Greed is a basic disease of all sentient beings. In our realm, the desire realm (kamadhatu), the force and effects of greed can be felt especially strongly. Greed is based on ignorance and cannot function without it. The fundamental ignorance that enables greed to function is the belief in a self that exists separately and independently from other sentient beings. This belief leads to nothing Read more
Trustworthy WordsIf you lie, you will not be trusted. If you cannot be trusted, you will be ineffective in your own life and useless to other people. Lies hurt others because they damage their trust and their sense of what is right and wrong. This is a very serious kind of damage; it wastes time, frightens people and causes them to doubt their basic intuitions Read more
When there is hope, there is a future. The worst tragedy in life is to live without hope for the future. When there is hope, there is a future. One of the mottoes of the Buddha's Light International Association is "to give others hope." That is the highest act of benevolence. On the other hand, to disappoint and render others hopeless is the cruelest act.People live Read more
Given that I have become a monk, I have placed demands upon myself. My sense of leaving the secular and focusing on the path must surpass others; my sense of self restraint and doing for others must be strengthened. I must learn to endure disadvantage, and I must let others gain some advantage at my expense; I must learn how to be patient and how Read more
If we want to understand what the Dharma teaches us about building affinity and living in harmony with others, we must first understand the four great all-embracing virtues. The Buddha teaches that for us to realize our true capacity of connecting with and serving our fellow citizens, we have to first build a good rapport, and the four virtues are tools to that end. The four Read more
What are people supposed to do when they are troubled by afflictions? Some people are troubled by very specific things, others encounter poverty, and many have poor relations with other people. Some individuals are disturbed the moment they hear even the slightest comment they do not like, or they become angry when they see someone doing something they do not approve of. This sort of Read more
If your mind is in balance, what need is there to work at morality? If your behavior is correct, what use is meditation to you? If you understand mercy, then you will naturally care for your parents. If you understand faithful conduct, then all of society will be in order.—Platform Sutra of the Sixth PatriarchA Balanced MindMental balance results from understanding that self-respect is a Read more
We should not look at life just as the limited span of one person’s life; we should look at the larger life of the universe. While a person’s life may only span a limited number of years, its value is everlasting. Read more
The first realization of The Eight Realizations of a Bodhisatttva Sutra is concerned with what is generally called the Buddha’s view of this world. This first realization is a description of the basic features of the world we live in. The points made in this realization are made in many other Buddhist sutras.The Buddha emphasized these basic points on many different occasions because it is Read more
Many of us think that after undertaking the precepts life will become a matter of you-can’t-do-this and you-can’t-do-that. We wonder if that isn’t limiting us even more. We worry that it will mean a loss of freedom. This is why some people will question: Why should I receive the precepts and end up just limiting myself!In fact, if we were to go to a prison Read more
Humans are “masters of the myriad creations of this earth” but are also the creators of problems. The arising of all problems in this world is related to humans, including today’s problems concerning environmental preservation. They also arise because of humanity’s selfishness, ignorance, and interruption of the harmony and natural cycles of the world, to the point where there are continuous natural calamities and changes. Read more