To Forbear a Moment’s Anger

“To bear disgrace and insult” is the most important virtue a person can possibly cultivate, because the ability to forbear is enormously powerful, since a moment of anger can destroy an entire lifetime of merits.

By restraining our emotions, we have a better chance of avoiding confrontation and gaining control of the situation at hand. Otherwise, our minds will be clouded and our judgment impaired. We must understand that in forbearance, we have an opportunity for greater achievement, because if we cannot forbear in small matters, how can we be destined for great undertakings?

In today’s society, people often mistake forbearance for cowardice. Therefore, the inability or unwillingness to forbear anger has become a source of social and family violence. All too often we have seen a simple quarrel turn into a major gunfight, or a plain argument into a regrettable tragedy. Spousal abuse, child abuse, and drive-by shootings result from the inability of people to control their emotions. If people can withhold their anger for even a moment and let their emotions settle, they would reap unimaginable benefits. If people could see the merit in forbearance, tragedy and personal losses would be minimized. Therefore, if we want to have peace and order in our lives, reason must prevail over negative emotions.

What does it mean to forbear? It is not very difficult for most of us to endure a moment of hunger or thirst. It is not very hard for most of us to bear the heat of summer or the cold of winter. However, it is very difficult for most of us to forbear anger. Even great men and women of history have succumbed to such a fate. By losing control of their emotions, many lost their ability to perceive things clearly and made irreversible mistakes that changed the course of history and profoundly impacted the lives of many generations. Therefore, the decision to forbear or not to forbear is a determining factor in one’s ultimate success or failure. If we wish to be successful in our undertakings, we must learn to hold back our emotions and be as thoughtful as possible in our actions and reactions.

To forbear is indeed an act of courage and not a symbol of cowardice. It takes great effort and resolution to endure pain and hardship. It requires tremendous confidence to bear insult and disgrace without a hint of retaliation or self-doubt.

In today’s society, our willingness to tolerate and accept those who are different from us will not only promote social harmony, it will also help to prevent needless tragedy.

In order for us to practice the virtue of forbearance, we must have strength, wisdom, and compassion. We must be willing to settle differences or disputes by means of reason and kindness. We must believe in tolerance and restraint as signs of goodness and bravery. Therefore, if we want to succeed in life and bring about a more peaceful world, we must learn to control our emotions and not to be affected by a moment of anger.

This article was originally published in All in a Thought, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

True stature is not created by form or ornament; words spoken out of jealousy and greed oppose it. Only when evil has been stopped at its roots, and when there is wisdom without anger is there true stature.— Dharmapadavadana Sutra The False Stature of This WorldEveryone wants to be well Read more
It is only through loving-kindness and compassion that we can find room in our hearts to forgive others. It is only through our willingness to let go of resentment that we can find a way to magnanimity.  Read more
All my life, many have thought of me as rich, but the truth is, staying poor has always been my motto. I grew up in a poverty-stricken family, yet I never saw myself as poor, because I always felt rich in heart. Till my old age, many have thought of Read more
Equality is a truth of human life within the universe, it is an aim of humanity, and it is also the basis of Buddhism.The Avatamsaka Sutra says:“All sentient beings are equal.”The Great Perfection of Wisdom Treatise says: “From the very highest level of all Buddhas to the low level of animals, all are Read more
We should not look at life just as the limited span of one person’s life; we should look at the larger life of the universe. While a person’s life may only span a limited number of years, its value is everlasting. Read more
Among our many relationships, many forms and types exist. There are friendships, family connections, teacher-student bonds, marriages, relationships with and between monastics, and many other kinds. How we choose to develop, nourish and manage these specific relationships determines our own joy and contentment, as well as that of our fellow Read more
The great masters of the Chan School have always been like leisurely clouds and wild cranes, sometimes dwelling in the mountain forests, sometimes living by the water. Read more
Though the worlds that we see are fundamentally a product of our own minds, they usually do not appear this way to us. Like images in an intense dream, our perceptions appear to be wholly real to us, and not to have been generated by our own mental activity. For Read more
Love and affection are infinitely valuable. There are various levels of love and affection that we can aspire to. Some people describe how people love this way: Young people love with their words, middle-aged people love with their actions, and elder people love with their hearts.  Read more
Do you feel inspired when you see people help each other? Not everyone is. Some people may look at a generous donation and say, “Donating such a small amount of money is nothing extraordinary for such a rich person.” When other people suffer from disasters and pain like the many Read more
Everyone in this world wants to have wealth and live a carefree life. They also want a good rebirth. Richness in this life and pleasure in the next are the hallmarks of a successful life.In the Sumati Sutra, the Buddha defined a "successful life" to be wealth in this life and happiness Read more
In the past, during the feudal period of Chinese history, men were respected while women were thought of as being rather contemptible. The birth of a son was compared to fashioning an ornament as precious as jade, which not only made everyone happy, but also raised the status of his Read more