Learn to Admit Your Faults

One of the biggest weaknesses in today’s society is that we have developed the habit of not saying we are sorry. Once we grow up and rise in status and knowledge, apologizing becomes harder and harder. But human beings are not perfect sages and we all make mistakes. Being able to correct our mistakes is a virtue in itself. This ability to amend our actions is what allows us to make progress.

Human beings are not perfect sages and we all make mistakes. Being able to correct our mistakes is a virtue in itself. This ability to amend our actions is what allows us to make progress.

It is important that we know when we cause harm to others, and that we want to make amends. Some ask, “Would the Buddha scold people?” Actually the answer is yes, but always with creativity and tact. 

What is the benefit of admitting your faults? Saying that you are sorry can sometimes make all the difference. When a parent is staring down their child, about to burst into anger at some misdeeds, a simple apology said at the right time makes all the difference in the world. 

In order to live in a community, the first and foremost thing is learning how to apologize. When small trifles never become big issues, families and friendships are built unhindered. If you really want to bicker, limit yourself to one sentence and force yourself to stop. Otherwise it will endlessly go back and forth.

There is no shame in parents admitting faults to their kids or teachers acknowledging mistakes to students.

Sages of the past earned their revered status in part because they had no trouble saying, “I’m sorry.

To do or say something wrong is not so terrible. What is important is that we correct our mistakes. The great sages of the past do not tell us to live perfectly, but instead say, “There is no greater benevolence than admitting one’s transgressions and correcting one’s mistakes.”

In Buddhism, the monks need to uphold two hundred and fifty precepts, while the nuns order has three hundred and forty-eight precepts, and lay Buddhists take five precepts, and sometimes the “Bodhisattva precepts.” It is a major commitment to expect someone to take all five precepts at one time. Instead, we can ask that people take some precepts and uphold them to the best of their abilities.

Inevitably, people’s observance of the precepts is imperfect, but it is personal ethical training. Never beat yourself up for mistakes. Just sincerely admit your faults and commit to improve. While we can all apologize for our wrongdoing, it is not so easy to apologize for faults that arise due to wrong views. Wrong views are those that fundamentally oppose Buddhist principles, and as such can lead us to do serious harm.

People are very good at making excuses. For example, someone who is late to a meeting might say, “A phone call came in when I was ready to step out” or “A friend suddenly visited me” or “It was raining and the traffic was heavy.” Never admitting one’s faults is hardly a laudable quality. But, if we can learn instead to admit when we do something wrong, our world can shift from one of conflict and competition to one of peace and cooperation.

It is always beneficial to be aware of our transgressions, great or small, and constantly work to improve ourselves.

Read more from Endless Knot, by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

While the Four Noble Truths explain the phenomena of the universe, the Buddha expounded on them mainly as a guide for life. It is inadequate, however, to merely learn the Four Noble Truths. We must resolve, cultivate and practice accordingly. We must end the causes of suffering, practice the path, and reach the cessation of suffering in order to achieve liberation. Consequently, the Four Universal Read more
Birth and death are realities of life. Regardless of who we are, we cannot escape either one. While birth is celebrated, death is feared by most. In order to cope with our fear, we often seek comfort in religion. Although each of the world's major religious traditions has its own teaching concerning death, Buddhism is the only one that promotes the doctrine of impermanence as one Read more
We sometimes see signs on the highway warning: “Keep a safe distance.” Actually, it is not only in driving that we need to keep a distance. For safety reasons, any person and anything in the world needs to keep a distance.Take, for instance, the human body. Our eyes, nose, and mouth all need to keep a distance from one another. Our internal organs all have Read more
If you keep your practice steady,morning and night, summer and winter,there is nothing you can not doand nothing that can harm you.— Upasakasila SutraThe Importance of Being SteadyLaziness and fear of work will get you into trouble no matter where they appear. Laziness is a basic animal tendency that must be confronted the moment it starts. Once you begin to allow yourself to be lazy, Read more
Buddhism says we should see friends and enemies as equal. This means we should learn to tolerate unfriendly people, unideal environments, and language that is hard on the ears. Read more
We all have our share of headaches and heartaches. Physically, we all have to face aging, sickness and death. Mentally, we have to deal with problems arising from greed, hatred and ignorance. The Chinese have a saying that aptly describes our predicament: “Heaven and hell sometimes end; the threads of sorrow continue forever.” Our afflictions are as deep as the dark blue sea and are Read more
It is enough for most monks to only have the ability to chant and teach the Dharma, and of course I too can chant sutras and teach the Dharma. But only being this kind of monk was not something I was willing to do. I wanted to become a monk who was able to engage in propagating the Dharma in a multifaceted way: There is Read more
It seemed that I had to do every­thing for Buddhism. For Buddhism, I have to only set the tone and not be­come the master, hand over my physi­cal body to the temple and give my life to the Dharma protectors, heav­enly beings and nagas, and making the aspiration to head out for Buddhism, striving to move Buddhism to­ward humanity and society. It seemed then that Read more
People suffer from a variety of diseases of the mind, such as being greedy, judgmental, or quick to anger. The Great Perfection of Wisdom Sutra says, “There are four kinds of diseases of the body, which are due to excessive wind, heat, phlegm, or other causes. There are also four kinds of diseases of the mind, which are greed, anger, ignorance, and pride.” Truthfully, it Read more
One of the great advantages of sitting meditation is that you can take it with you wherever you go. Whether you are in a forest deep in the mountains or beside a stream among the grass and reeds, you can develop meditative concentration just by sitting down and crossing your legs.But what is meditation? Does it come from sitting, standing, or lying down? Huineng, the Read more
Harmful attachments are often described in Buddhist literature as impediments or hindrances because they block our view of the truth and prevent us from seeing our own Buddha nature. Read more
If your mind is in balance, what need is there to work at morality? If your behavior is correct, what use is meditation to you? If you understand mercy, then you will naturally care for your parents. If you understand faithful conduct, then all of society will be in order.—Platform Sutra of the Sixth PatriarchA Balanced MindMental balance results from understanding that self-respect is a Read more