Learn to Admit Your Faults

One of the biggest weaknesses in today’s society is that we have developed the habit of not saying we are sorry. Once we grow up and rise in status and knowledge, apologizing becomes harder and harder. But human beings are not perfect sages and we all make mistakes. Being able to correct our mistakes is a virtue in itself. This ability to amend our actions is what allows us to make progress.

Human beings are not perfect sages and we all make mistakes. Being able to correct our mistakes is a virtue in itself. This ability to amend our actions is what allows us to make progress.

It is important that we know when we cause harm to others, and that we want to make amends. Some ask, “Would the Buddha scold people?” Actually the answer is yes, but always with creativity and tact. 

What is the benefit of admitting your faults? Saying that you are sorry can sometimes make all the difference. When a parent is staring down their child, about to burst into anger at some misdeeds, a simple apology said at the right time makes all the difference in the world. 

In order to live in a community, the first and foremost thing is learning how to apologize. When small trifles never become big issues, families and friendships are built unhindered. If you really want to bicker, limit yourself to one sentence and force yourself to stop. Otherwise it will endlessly go back and forth.

There is no shame in parents admitting faults to their kids or teachers acknowledging mistakes to students.

Sages of the past earned their revered status in part because they had no trouble saying, “I’m sorry.

To do or say something wrong is not so terrible. What is important is that we correct our mistakes. The great sages of the past do not tell us to live perfectly, but instead say, “There is no greater benevolence than admitting one’s transgressions and correcting one’s mistakes.”

In Buddhism, the monks need to uphold two hundred and fifty precepts, while the nuns order has three hundred and forty-eight precepts, and lay Buddhists take five precepts, and sometimes the “Bodhisattva precepts.” It is a major commitment to expect someone to take all five precepts at one time. Instead, we can ask that people take some precepts and uphold them to the best of their abilities.

Inevitably, people’s observance of the precepts is imperfect, but it is personal ethical training. Never beat yourself up for mistakes. Just sincerely admit your faults and commit to improve. While we can all apologize for our wrongdoing, it is not so easy to apologize for faults that arise due to wrong views. Wrong views are those that fundamentally oppose Buddhist principles, and as such can lead us to do serious harm.

People are very good at making excuses. For example, someone who is late to a meeting might say, “A phone call came in when I was ready to step out” or “A friend suddenly visited me” or “It was raining and the traffic was heavy.” Never admitting one’s faults is hardly a laudable quality. But, if we can learn instead to admit when we do something wrong, our world can shift from one of conflict and competition to one of peace and cooperation.

It is always beneficial to be aware of our transgressions, great or small, and constantly work to improve ourselves.

Read more from Endless Knot, by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

The Buddhist precepts are here to protect us from wrongdoing, lead us away from what is bad, and towards what is good. Vinaya Master Daoxuan of the Tang dynasty composed the Simplified and Amended Handbook of the Four-Part Vinaya [Sifenlü Shanfan Buque Xingshi Chao], in which he analyzed the precepts in terms of their “rules,” “essence,” “practice,” and “characteristics.” When one puts the actual rules Read more
"To bear disgrace and insult" is the most important virtue a person can possibly cultivate, because the ability to forbear is enormously powerful, since a moment of anger can destroy an entire lifetime of merits. By restraining our emotions, we have a better chance of avoiding confrontation and gaining control of the situation at hand. Otherwise, our minds will be clouded and our judgment impaired. Read more
As we live, we must strive for a life of value. Buddhism is different from philosophy, for it does not only deal with knowledge and theory. Rather, Buddhism calls for devout faith, developed morality, and most importantly: spiritual practice.All we need is the right intention to begin any form of spiritual practice, whether it is bowing to the Buddha, chanting sutras, repentance, meditation, or other Read more
True stature is not created by form or ornament; words spoken out of jealousy and greed oppose it. Only when evil has been stopped at its roots, and when there is wisdom without anger is there true stature.— Dharmapadavadana Sutra The False Stature of This WorldEveryone wants to be well regarded by others. However, in seeking true stature, people too often waste their time in Read more
Most of us have an idea of what constitutes the space outside us; it is the environment in which we live. This includes the house we live in, the city we live in, or even the world we live in. Just as we need to skillfully manage our relationship to others, to the environment, and to wealth, we also need to properly manage our relationship Read more
All these naturally beautiful landscapes of the world are odes of praise to the beauty and wonder of nature. The beauty of nature is really enchanting and fascinating! Read more
Among our many relationships, many forms and types exist. There are friendships, family connections, teacher-student bonds, marriages, relationships with and between monastics, and many other kinds. How we choose to develop, nourish and manage these specific relationships determines our own joy and contentment, as well as that of our fellow human beings, and ultimately, our community and world as a whole.  How wonderful our lives Read more
Lessen desire and be without any wishes and the body and mind will be at ease.When our desires are balanced and reasonable, we can be content. The Buddha taught that deep wisdom can be found only by following a “middle way” between dualistic extremes. The middle way can always be found by contemplating which side of a dualistic pair is contending for our attention. If Read more
We should always try to see the good in others, not the bad. On the samsaric level of this saha world alone, back-biting and faultfinding are known by most people to be totally counter-productive. Not only does faultfinding produce nothing but anger and mistrust, but the effects of negative speech also create an environment in which it becomes difficult to do anything positive. Read more
When there is hope, there is a future. The worst tragedy in life is to live without hope for the future. When there is hope, there is a future. One of the mottoes of the Buddha's Light International Association is "to give others hope." That is the highest act of benevolence. On the other hand, to disappoint and render others hopeless is the cruelest act.People live Read more
What we often care most for in life is the self, and the most important aspect of self is none other than destiny. During one's lifetime, destiny changes frequently because of circumstances that arise. Because of a person, an event, a word, a dollar, or even a thought, entire lives may be altered. Similarly, the development of a country may be changed and the history Read more
The Buddha often explained emptiness and impermanence by getting people to think about how phenomena arise, change, and decline. Read more